to live
by laa-Lii1
Summary: That's life…as bad as it can get, it's never too bad. As bad as life can get, it's never too late. Even when you have two years to live.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Ah the world of BLEACH, sad to say that I don't own it.**

**A.N: I'd like to let ya'll know that this story will be random but with a plot to it. And I do so hope that you lovelies will enjoy it as it starts to unravel. Also, this story is AU, and will contain anything from random farts to physical abuse. Just thought I'd warn you. If you want some more detailed warnings on this story, I've posted up a bit of info on this story on my profile. Without any further interruption...I give you...**

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_**...to live 01: Guess You're Never Too Old**_

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I swear I'm in a nightmare. The darkness that surrounds me only added stress to my over-active imagination. And it didn't take much to get me started either.

I shamefully strain my ears, turning my head from side-to-side, desperatly trying to block out my thumping heart and trying to catch the noises that woke me up minutes earlier.

_Please let it be the tiny blue men trying to rob my sleep_. I silently pray to whoever is listening that it's not what I'm thinking. That it's someone trying to break in and whisk my away into a cave, holding me captive, until my hair grew so long I could be considered Rapunzel. I'd rather have that happen to me then to think what I'm thinking at the moment. Wait, was that a better option?

_ugh! Ok shhh, i need to get some shut eye_.

But I know I heard something. Then again, did I really care? He has a life of his own, it's not like I'm the only one involved in it. Even though I knew that I was the only one that went to go see him. Even though I was the only one that cooked for him. The only one that stayed and listened to him play his magic with his long fingers as they stroked the piano beautifully.

_Oh well_. I turn and look at the clock, staring at the muted-red numbers.

The sleep that had been weighing me down all day soon started to pull on me, swarming my body with thickness, heaviness; weighing my mind with blackness and stillness...

…when I heard it.

My eyes pop open, knowing exactly what was going on. It's not like I was a pervert – ok, maybe I am a little, but that was a side I never let anyone know of — it's just that it was common sense. Those noises left little to the imagination! Even I wasn't that innocent. Why the hell had I never realized that you could just about listen to anything through those walls?

To my utter horror, the pounding against the wall filtering into my dark room grew faster in rhythm. The rising crescendos of moans pierced my ears and then…? There was laughter, followed by silence.

I couldn't help but cringe. Girls had weird taste nowadays. I mean, my neighbor was old — as in, he needs help to the bathroom, old — alright, I'm exaggerating, but he still needs help from a cane. No offense really; I'm in love with the old man. Kind of see him as my own grandpa, I even call him grandpa, so knowing that he can still get it up, was…slightly disturbing.

There were so many things I didn't know about my neighbor. One thing was for sure; I definitely preferred the crescendo of a soothing orchestra soaking into the walls of my room then knowing that he was still active.

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**A.N: So according to my word count, that was 500 words.**

**Well happy days ya'll. come back soon. R&R please**


	2. My Heart is Breaking! Can't You Hear it?

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All of it belongs to our beloved Tite Kubo. Such a fascinating mind.**

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_**...to live 02: My Heart is Breaking! Can't You Hear It?**_

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SMACK!

The sound alone echoes throughout the empty quietness of my apartment. From somewhere in the kitchen, you could hear a clock tick the seconds away like if there was no urgency to the situation that was slowly unraveling before me.

I close my eyes, willing myself not to shed a tear. The slap to the face that he had received _had_ to sting, 'cause I could almost feel the burning sting on my own fingertips. I could almost feel the throbbing pulse that the contact had left.

_I will not cry_, I demand myself.

Then why did I feel so betrayed by the outcome of this whole mess? How did all of this become so dang messy in such a short amount of time? Everything had been going perfectly fine, right? Did I really mistake the look he had in his eyes for love? I just couldn't understand how it had escalated into this. Better yet, I didn't want to accept it.

_Theres just no possible way this is happening._

"Please…please hime. Let me explain." His voice was barely audible, but I heard it, heard his voice crack at the end of his begging. Heard the quiet desperation he wasn't willing to admit.

He sounded so broken. My chest spasmed at the pain I knew he was suffering at the moment.

_I will not cry_, I told myself again. Why should I cry? — just because he was hurting? He had chosen these consequences through his actions alone, what did he think? — that he would never get caught? Did he seriously think that he was going to get away with having both of them? Was he thinking at all? But I knew him too good. It had been his pride, his selfishness. The fact that he wants to believe that he's able to handle everything on his own. It still didn't give him any right.

— yet my heart broke for him as his tears streaked down his face. His broad shoulders shaking in silent sobs.

I should've just looked away. Shouldn't've even bothered listening to what he had to say. I needed to walk out the door this instant. I had a life! I was probably going to be late for work – again. There was no need for me to fall deeper into his lies. Lies that I had thought had been the truth. Not until now did I realize what a fake this whole ordeal was, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from his beautiful face.

I wanted to yell and demand why. But I already knew the answer to that. It wasn't a big secret. Everyone had known, had accepted what had been going on. But me? I had been in denial.

It was the other women. The way her lusty dark eyes begged for his attention. The way her pout-y mouth called his name, even her voice had a way of seducing him, controlling him. She was sin in a bottle. Carnal temptation, that not even straight women could resist. Maybe I understood that part. But still…

I didn't dare speak, for fear of breaking the tense silence around me, afraid that my thumping heart would shatter as well. My own tongue felt thick and heavy in my mouth, there was no possible way that I could form a word and be understood.

"Hime please," he steps forward, his honey colored eyes that normally burned with determination, shimmered with tears, "I love you."

I fist my hands tightly, wishing that it was his heart in my hands so I could crush him. I wanted to sink my nails into the soft organ that kept him alive and make him hurt. Maybe then, he would feel my pain.

But would I do it if I had the oppurtinity?

"Bullshit!" — bolting up from my seat, pointing at him, accusing him — "You wouldn't have cheated if you loved — "

DING-DONG

"Orihime! Are you in there?" Nel's voice called from the other side of the door. "You better not be watching that damn soapie of yours! We're late!"

Late for work again.

Crud.

_I'm going to get fired_.

Again.

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**A.N: Word count told me it was 700 words, so I'll stick with that. Member kiddies, it's a totally random story, the plot will be coming soon though. Oh and please R&R.**

**Have a happy ficday.**


	3. It's Not The Romance Department

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Bleach or any of its characters.**

**A.N: Y'all enjoy**

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**03: It's Not The Romance Department**

I swung the door open and threw my bag across the room. I would have felt a whole lot better if it had been Uryuu's head bouncing off the wall. But hey, my imagination alone was enough.

I kicked the door closed, _Who the hell breaks up with someone on the day of their anniversary?_ Sheesh! That asswipe could have at least waited a day after today. And he had to break it to me after such a wonderful lunch too.

I mean, what was the whole point of picking me up from work, giving me a tender kiss that had my heart pounding at the speed of light, and then, he finishes the whole effect by handing me a single red rose, that screamed intimacy. Or maybe I read too much into it? _Ugh. Who knew?_

Don't get me wrong, I loved the thought. At least one of us was trying to put an effort into a relationship that was getting as close as u can get to the end of the rainbow. But for what! — just so he could dump me right after?

He had even went the whole five mile of including in his speech, something about me not having enough time for him — it's not like he's a five year old — and spouting some bullshit about walking our own paths, yada, yada, yada. I had blocked him out at that point. I really didn't want to hear it. Not when I was wondering why the hell it bothered me so much that he was breaking up with me. I would have preferred if he would have told me from the start that he wanted to break up with me. Instead of making me heart believe, that maybe this wasn't so bad. That maybe, after such a long time, I deserved to have someone that was willing to love someone broken. That needed a little extra repair.

Why had I waited for this to happen? I should've made him walk the plank right after our first date, but _noooo_…instead it was me; jumping into the cold, shark infested ocean, with the bitterness of the cold swallowing me alive, yet waking me up.

Emotions. That's all they were. Emotion that I didn't need, that I could do without. And now, they were like goose pumps; alerting me that they still existed when I had forgotten them so long ago.

_I seriously didnt' need this. Not one bit of it._

I itched to call Nel and grudgingly throw it in her face, "I told you! I told you it wouldn't work!" But she wasn't the one to blame. Uryuu had, in fact, said the truth; I never had time. In reality? — I just never took the time to make it for him.

I was too afraid that our "relationship" might have developed into something I wasn't quite sure I was ready for. On top of that, if I had stopped seeing Uryuu a lot sooner then what Nel deemed a good worth amount of time to get to know someone, she probably wouldn't've hesitated to make the rest of my life impossible. Besides, Nel had a terrifying way with people.

I sigh, making my way to the fridge of my overly huge kitchen, with its exaggerated shiny appliances.  
The one thing that did take me by surprise was how I kept trying to convince myself that I wasn't — am not — in love with him, through the whole car ride, as he drove me home. Yup, that ride had been utterly awkward.

_But was i in love with him? _

_Nope, defintely not in love_, I told myself again as I pulled out the tub of strawberry cheesecake ice-cream from the freezer. Still…

_Six months had been an awfully good amount of time for me to grow attached to someone,_ I thought as I shut the freezer door and fetched a spoon from the cabinet next to the stove.

Just because Uryuu and I hadn't seen much of each other, for some reason I had made sure to at least talk to him every day through text or a call. Inadvertently, I had gotten a small glimpse of the man he was — is. And that had been enough to reel me in fast. To notice how deep his loyalty ran. How, if I gave him a chance, I would be indulged and spoiled. Loved. But the word alone scared me out of wanting him in any sort of way.

I trudged back into the living room, plopping down on my worn out loveseat.

Besides, drama in the romance department was the last thing I needed to worry about.

I had other things I was stressing over, for example, the fact that the private investigator had called me today had completely taken me by surprise. My heart had lurched and drummed loudly against my ears as I uselessly tried to listen to him talk. But the only thing I could make sense of was that _he was out_.

_Has it really been that long?_

I thought I had gotten good at defending myself against these little jabs to my heart.

I felt my finger trace over the cow that smiled happily at the world. _When will I be able to smile like this?_

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_**Y'all come back soon. R&R please.**  
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	4. You Can't Make Me

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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**04: You Can't make Me**

Days blurred together one by one the longer I stayed cooped up in this apartment. I felt like I was rotting just sitting here in front of the TV; the phone cradled in my hands like a life preserver, wondering when it was going to ring. If it was going to ring at all.

_When the hell was it going to ring!_

Being inside this place had always felt empty, almost echo-ish, it was the reason why I was always at Nel's place. But since I had received THEE call from the detective, I had started to avoid her. Along with her constant calls and the daily banging's on the door. Now that I thought about it, I'm kind of glad that she had refused to accept the spare key that I had offered her years ago.

_Where was that key anyways?_

At first, when she would come by yelling in outrage about me not opening the door for her, I had felt desperate for my own space. But now? Now I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I was almost sure that if I outstretched my hands out to my sides, my fingers would be able to touch the surface of the walls. Each day the apartment felt smaller and smaller. Constricted.

My favorite ice-cream, topped with wasabi didn't satisfy my umm...intriguing taste buds. The chick flicks that I always stayed up late watching into the wee hours of the morning, didn't whisper my name anymore. Sleep eluded my rampaging mind.

But that had been two weeks ago. And to this day, I was still waiting for another call from him.

I swear I was going insane!

Pretty soon I would need a straight-jacket and be delivered to a padded room and be surrounded by people that didn't even know their names.

Oh no! I could just picture it already. My long red hair a nest of a mess. Drool dripping out of the corner of my lips, down to my chin and landing with a noisy _splat_ on the puddle that's slowly been getting bigger with each day.

And I could almost hear myself chanting, "I need to know". Swaying back and forth with each word that slipped out of my mouth.

_Oh no. It can't happen. I still have a long life! I can't fall victim to the bat-shit crazy disease._

_What am I going to do?_

_WHAT!_

_WHAT!_

_WHA —_

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

"Listen here Orihime. I'm only going to say this one more time." Nel's voice drifted into my melodramatic mind. Screeching my whirlwind thoughts to a total stand still as I listened to her threat. "If you don't open this door this **INSTANT**. I'll rip it off its hinges. Do you want me to tell you what I'll do to you then?"

"No." The phone slipped my finger as I scrambled to my feet and threw my body against the door. Hoping that that would be enough to stop her tantrum.

"Orihime." Came Nel's very, _VERY_, calm voice from the other side of the door. And Nel talking that way when she was angry was never good.

"What is it Nel?" I asked, slowly inching away from the door. _Not good at all._

"Remember that spare key you offered me a while back ago?"

_Definitely not good._

Come to think of it. I don't remember what I did to that key. Someone must've taken it. That's the only possible explanation.

It must've been the little blue men that made my red bean-paste disappear so fast!

"Well you left it on my counter the day you offered it to me."

Crud.

My two legs ran me over to the door again and I leaned my back heavily onto it. My eyes flitted from wall to wall, corner to corner.

_Where the hell am I going to hide?!_

I can just picture her. Standing on the other side of the door. Her long aqua colored hair styled to a messy perfection. Her thin hands propped onto her seducing round hips. And that glint on her eyes, accompanied by that tiny smile that barely tugged at the corner of her lips, the one that screamed, 'I have something planned for you. You won't like it, but I know I'll enjoy it'.

"Oh no," I heard myself whimper.

"Open the door. Now!"

"No!"

"If I have to use the key, I swear I'll make you hurt for a whole week."

I hesitated, my heart drumming louder at the thought of pain. "You wouldn't —" now I was scared, knowing Nel? — she's capable of anything. "— would you?"

"Try me" she snarled from behind the door.

Crap! I'm screwed.

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**Y'all come back soon. Hope you guys enjoyed.**


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